Giving myself a break
I get so frustrated and angry with myself for “constantly” needing other people’s validation and reaffirmation that I’m not all the horrible things the depression says and I’m not ugly and I’m not gonna be alone forever.
But realistically, who wouldn’t? If you were trapped in a cell with someone telling you those lies 24/7, would you start to doubt? If it had been 13 years? If it was actually just yourself telling you these things?
I fight away those thoughts and feelings for most of the day, and most of the time. Sometimes it isn’t easy, but I get it done. I live my life. It’s not that weird that in the last few hours of the day when I’m tired, I need someone to remind me that I’m fighting for the right thing.
Anyone would get tired. Anyone would need validation. It’s a normal reaction to the situation. And that’s what I hope people understand. I’m not actually weak, whiny or needy. It’s a very appropriate amount of need for what I live with. And if anything, I’m actually pretty strong.