Posts tagged dating

Posted 9 months ago

Great video! It’s good that she shared her own story, too. Besides being male, I also generally don’t get the larger culture because I’m stuck inside my own head a lot. Sharing her story helps me at least get a small glimpse at what many women (and other people) deal with. 

She also mentions an article on the NYT the strongly implies an 11-year-old girl is at fault for being gang-raped by 20 men because of the way she dressed, put on make-up and acted. 

The article even says, "how could their young men have been drawn into such an act."

Like WTFFFFFFF... imagine someone saying, “What could the Jews have done to draw Hitler into killing so many of them?” That’s how fucking outrageous it is.

Are expectations for men really so low in our society that we have no moral ability to decide NOT to gang-rape an 11-year-old girl?

Salon.com talks about the article.  http://www.salon.com/2011/03/09/new_york_times_blames_11_year_old_rape_victim/

Posted 2 years ago

INFJ Dating Bible, or How to Date an INFJ

Interesting :D I will now indulgently engage in talking about it/myself XD

For most INFJs, omitting or distorting information is equivalent to lying…

Agreed! You either say what you know or make me suspicious when I realize you’ve hidden something because I’ll start wondering what your motives are.

INFJs are adept at nonverbal communication

I don’t know? I’ve never thought about it.

INFJs have an extremely complex internal value system. An INFJ will see if you ‘fit’ into their world, and they’ll bend their own rules if they really like you.

Definitely true, but it also goes with this:

They’re curious about other people. To their friends, they are very accepting. However, the closer one gets to an INFJ’s heart, the more their standards will apply to the other person

For friends, I don’t expect them to have my values. The more they do, the closer they can get to me, though. Romantic partners need to share my values, otherwise it won’t work. 

INFJs can be pretty intense emotionally. 

Besides my mood disorder? XD Yeah, still true. I’ve cried so many times during sad or touching scenes of movies or songs lol

INFJs are weird / odd / strange / extremely rare and they very much know it… they confuse even themselves. They almost always feel misunderstood

Still true. I’ve learned a lot about myself, though. I do still feel misunderstood, but most of the time I regard it as just an intriguing part of life. 

INFJs can often mimic other types.

Maybe! I know over time that I’ve learned to “act extroverted.” I read somewhere that INFJ’s can come off as extroverts because of their curiosity and desire to help people. Personally, the introversion factor just means my world is internal, not that I’m shy. Which leads me to this point:

They open up at a dinosauric pace.

This isn’t really true of me anymore. Awhile ago, I decided I was done living with secrets or hiding myself; it was too burdensome. I’m still cautious, but if you ask, I’m very likely to answer.

INFJs are typically better in writing

This is still true though :P I still can stumble when trying to verbally express some of my more personal things. lol

INFJs don’t typically engage in casual relationships.

True. I’m just no good at that kind of thing. 

An INFJ’s allegiance is no trifle. If an INFJ wants to stick by you, it means they really like you. Do not violate that gift.

… yeah >_> I’ve learned that I do hold grudges hehe. And the way they phrased it is exactly how I will feel about it: do not VIOLATE the gift of my friendship. 

INFJs, like other idealists, love harmony. While an INFJ is relatively adept at conflict resolution, they do not appreciate the unneeded creation of conflict. 

Stress the phrase “unneeded creation of conflict,” please! That definitely annoys me. 

INFJs are extremely sensitive. 

I’ve worked on it, but yeah. You definitely need to be careful in how you criticize me (it’s not a warning; I’m just being realistic lol, it’s how I am). On the other hand, if I don’t get offended, I usually take people’s criticism to heart and try to improve. 

INFJs love helping people. If you’re bad at accepting help (yes, accepting help is a skill), then get ready to have problems. To reject an INFJ’s help is to reject their love

I’ve definitely felt that way before! (rejecting my help is rejecting how I express my love).

An INFJ’s ability to help people goes hand-in-hand with their ability to destroy people. Their keen knowledge of people’s weaknessess means they can either help you incredibly or destroy you, however the latter is extremely rare and is only reserved for people they believe have done serious harm to them or others.

 … darker period in my life >_> I’ve done that before. 

They often have darker periods where they close up. They can become monk-like and reclusive. It doesn’t mean they don’t like you, it just means they need to recharge.

I call it hermit-mode :D

They can be stubborn once they believe they’re in the right, especially if it has to do with their values.

And I’m always right! lol jk. I am INCREDIBLY stubborn. Sometimes, it’s not even about being right to me. It’s  just that I love to argue (classically, not where two people yell at each other). I will defend my position till the end, but I will admit defeat if the other person clearly won. 

INFJs hardly ever initiate anything.

Hm, not entirely true anymore. Extraverted feeling has helped <3 but it’s true of me romantically lol. I’m very unlikely to act on attractions unless I feel some special motivation to do so (curiosity, mostly).

INFJs need 2 things to thrive: trust and safety.

Definitely, as far as romantic partners go. 

Their energy drains when around others

Absolutely. lol

Your energy will easily affect them. If you seem unstable, etc., it will seep into them and poison them. It has often been said that an INFJ’s partner has to be strong, and this is generally true.

Yeah. I think I need to find a partner who is generally stable and positive. Not to say they can’t have problems. Just that they generally don’t implode because of them. 

WELL XD cool. Mostly right. 

(Source: ispeakfluentloveliness)

Posted 2 years ago
  1. Vivian: Haha, Joseph. You're awesome XD
  2. Me: Why?
  3. Vivian: You just are!
  4. Me: Then why am I single?! Darn couples coming to the singleton for advice.
  5. Vivian: haha, we should go out more.
  6. Me: Idk, I think my type of girl is probably a bookworm trapped in a library.
  7. Vivian: Let's go to the library then!
  8. Me: Lol oh yeah... checkin' out them library girls, hittin up the library scene. All the girls be like, "Who's the dashing guy with a psychology book? Is that an IQ of 130 I smell?"
  9. Vivian: Lmao
Posted 2 years ago

Relationships, Friendship, Rant

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Posted 2 years ago

Why I'm Reluctant to Try Dating

  1. Ashley: So why don't you want to try asking the chick out?
  2. Me: Because I'm not even sure I want to deal with a relationship. There's a bunch of other stuff I want to do, and I'm very absentminded. I'm the type of person that'll be like, "Oh, we were going on a date tonight? I was busy calculating the velocity of a fly in a shitstorm."
Posted 3 years ago

Are you clean?

What everyone should ask their potential dates/hookups/partners whatever before agreeing to anything (I mean this especially in the sense of hygiene, but STDs are covered too). 

Posted 3 years ago

"Don’t date the most beautiful girl in the world, date the girl who makes your world the most beautiful." -Wiz Khalifa

Posted 3 years ago

Funny Thought

"This is weird missing my last gf all of a sudden, well at least the memories and feelings. It’s been two years though! *gasp* I’ve been single for too long! I’M GOING TO GET STALE!"