Posts tagged joke

Posted 2 years ago
  1. TYPE YOUR NAME: matthew
  2. TYPE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR ELBOW: matthew
  3. TYPE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR EYES SHUT: matthew
  4. TYPE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR CHIN: matthewe
  5. SLAM YOUR FACE ON THE KEYBOARD: About 3 things i was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him, and i didnt know how dominant that part might be, that thirsted for my blood. And third, i was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him
Posted 2 years ago
  1. Vivian: Haha, Joseph. You're awesome XD
  2. Me: Why?
  3. Vivian: You just are!
  4. Me: Then why am I single?! Darn couples coming to the singleton for advice.
  5. Vivian: haha, we should go out more.
  6. Me: Idk, I think my type of girl is probably a bookworm trapped in a library.
  7. Vivian: Let's go to the library then!
  8. Me: Lol oh yeah... checkin' out them library girls, hittin up the library scene. All the girls be like, "Who's the dashing guy with a psychology book? Is that an IQ of 130 I smell?"
  9. Vivian: Lmao
Posted 2 years ago
Posted 2 years ago
  1. Lady Astor: Winston, if you were my Husband, I would poison your coffee!
  2. Winston Churchill: Madam, if I were your Husband, I would drink it!
Posted 2 years ago

Friend: What kind of man has never had cheesecake?!?!

Me: Are you attacking my manliness?! Don’t make me slap you with my purse, woman!